i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
