I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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