even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
