Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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