I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
