Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
