an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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