she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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