I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just found a bag of teeth...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
