The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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