From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
time to smoke my breakfast
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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