I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
