At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
