i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
