Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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