We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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