What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
