i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
