well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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