It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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