Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
