Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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