the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
my liver is dry heaving
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
