he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
