Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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