Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
