Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
