it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
