so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
