Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
