Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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