You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
