In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
