the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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