nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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