so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
