i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
