Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
