I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
