I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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