Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
