UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
