whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just pee around me
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
