i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
