I looked at my own cervix.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
