its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
