he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
