I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
