You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
no, he came in my armpit
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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