somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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