he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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