remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
