Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
