Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
