Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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