need another drink. this is the easiest way
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
