READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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